Brrr .... Autumn is definitely taking hold.

Every year, I have this "battle" whereby I wonder how long it will be before we switch the heating on.

Well, in June we had an exceptionally cold snap, when I switched it on for a couple of hours, since then, it 's not been so bad, and in fact we had a heatwave less than 2 weeks ago. Most odd, but most welcome.

2 nights ago, however, it was just too cold. So, on went the heating for the evening. Yesterday, I was the only one in the house, and fully clothed in warm socks and cardigan, but my fingers were going numb. I gave in, and on the heating went.

Therefore, I hereby declare Autumn has set in, 17th October 2011. I wonder how long it will be before I start setting the timing controls to bring it on for the morning, that will be a sad day indeed !




In the meantime, I guess I ought to check we have coal aplenty ... apparently snow is predicted ?!

Brrrr

oops!

Well, let's just say accounts nor gym got done ....

But, I did get up earlier and have had great fun pottering, I've finished the first "pot holder", I ended up top sewing the binding, but it actually looks pretty passable.

On the second one, I am going to attempt to attach the front and back using the sewing machine.

The other thing I have thoroughly enjoyed doing, which I almost consider as "naughty" is watching tv during the day .... well, ok, not actual daytime television, but watching "House of Eliott", a great British drama series based in the '20's about a house of fashion / couture ... I just love the clothes and the concept of great dress making.

My husband has laughed at me watching it, but keeps dropping in for a recap of where the characters are up to, LOL !

Back to work tomorrow, but, it's ok, for once I'm not dreading it. Friday, on the other hand, may be another matter. More on that, later ....

Ciao x

"Me" time ....

I've been so busy, yet time has once again disappeared on me.

Last week, however, I made a conscious decision to take a day off to myself.

Now, if you don't have children, or never have, you may not understand the implications of this.... but if you're a busy mother or father, you will totally understand where I'm coming from.

Pre-parenting, I had 25 odd days annual leave, DH and I used to take a fair amount of it together, but I'd always take at least a solid week off, and several days off to myself.

Roll forward 8 years ... and I have 19 days annual leave (perils of working part time) and a child of school age, which means, juggling childcare and leave ... all leave is dedicated to looking after DD when she's not at school, leaving a couple of "emergency days" for illness etc.

Whilst I love my DD to pieces, I am also someone who needs their own space. A very difficult proposition at times, especially when working from home, whilst DH works from home, and then being a parent the rest of the time .... my own space, had become non-existant.

"Me time"..... almost seems a lost concept.

So, after having had to work the other Sunday, I managed to gain some "time in lieu",  that combined with the fact that college was cancelled today due to it being an "Admin day", I decided to capitalise on this ... and took Monday off.

I was determined that it would not involve childcare, domestic godessness, chores, hubbie's business paperwork, or anything that was for someone else.

I, unfortunately, didn't manage to ship DH out of the house for the day ... but hey, small issue !

I have to admit, to doing very very little on Monday morning, but I've been wanting to do a number of sewing projects for a while, so Monday afternoon, I finally managed start researching them, and getting out my sewing table.

Tuesday, today, I had another lie in ... I obviously needed my sleep ! But managed to get out of bed by 11 and today, I've had great fun pottering around starting to make a pair of pot holders, and being very pernickety on the bindings (ripped 4 times so far!), I am way too Virgoan at times.

It is mental space which I've needed from the world, and with it, has brought forward my energy to actually do what I want to do, rather than just looking at it, and feeling overwhelmed.

Tomorrow is the day I do DH's accounts, but tomorrow, I am going to juggle things, I want to do more sewing, and go to the gym ....

All of these, are good signs for the Winter ... I normally go to sleep for the Winter, and shut down by now until March ...

I must learn how to insert a photo into this blog .. so that when I have finished this pot holder pair I can show you ...

Day 1 .... lesson learnt

Don't believe other's are better than you, cos they're not.

Listen to the wind howl .....

All night the wind has blown and the windows rattled .... the washing has had to be rescued from the line (or rather, from the lawn .... ) as the wind had blown it from the pegs.

The weekend is once again over far too soon, but we did have a fairly productive time, mentally and physically.

Saturday afternoon was spent in the garden, much to DH's disgust ! The wind had already started to blow by the time they came back and he was in a grump ! Undeterred, I insisted we got on with it, and eventually his bad mood got blown away :) Result !!

The greenhouse has been totally stripped down of tomatoes, pots emptied (not yet washed - reminder to self), the fuschia's and yukka have been put into the greenhouse for the Winter.

We had a good result with the yukka ...

My DH inherited a rather sickly yukka about 16yrs ago, and after being pretty brutal with it, it flourished, until last Winter, when the frost unfortunately, pretty much finished it off. In a vain last hope DH cut the tops of it off, and sealed them with wax, 6 months later, and we were about to empty the container and admit defeat, when we noticed that poking from the soil were 2 baby yukka's !!!

So, fingers crossed this is the start of their new lives :)

I want to buy and plant some bulbs for the Spring, but that is likely to not be until next week, I suspect.
Apparently daffodils are good to plant now, with tulips to be planted in November .. the things I learn as I approach my impending birthday (2 more days y'know !)

Sunday was a lazy day, with lots of snuggles with DD, gotta love days like that :) We did wander off to the pool for an hour in the afternoon, and it's amazing how quickly her confidence has grown in just a few "play" sessions with us .... 4yrs of swimming lessons and little progress .... play time and suddenly she's happy diving under water and doing handstands !! I wish my swimming was as good, LOL .... never mind, I managed to get a couple of lengths in, even if DH did tell me that I obviously can't do breaststroke ... sigh, so I suppose I ought to go and google that then !

I really wish I'd had parents who took me swimming, but no .... so apparently self-taught breaststroke at 30, was um, wrong .... I do get to one end of the pool and back, albeit slowly. DH says it's because my legs are wrong, and he's right, I've always wondered what my legs ought to be achieving, as they never seem to be getting me very far.

Another thing to figure out in my 40's !

Maybe I should start one of those 101 things to do in 1001 days, like other's seemingly are doing, and put learning to swim right up at the top ...

It is the weekend :)

Yesterday, was a truly painful day. A day I literally had to drag myself through, kicking and screaming.

On the plus sides, I managed to:

Clear one pile of paperwork, shred it, and put the contents into the recycling bin
Cooked a proper dinner for DD including fresh meat, veg and tatties
Cooked a proper dinner for DH and I which included fresh meat, veg and tatties
Did the ironing

None of which sounds momentous, but actually given the mode I was running in, it was.

Sometimes it's the small things.

And then I got a good night's sleep with a lie in, life is feeling a little better today.

I am currently "abandoned" in the house (oh, the peace, the quiet :) ), whilst they have gone on their shopping expedition and taking in lunch whilst they're out.

Consequently, I have done .... nada, nothing ....

Until they come back my garden plans are scuppered, as my boots are in the back of the car. But once they are back, I am determined we are going to crack on with it. The sky is blue, temperature "warm", a tad windy, but all in all, a good day to get it sorted.

My weight today, is exactly the same as it was yesterday, which is a little disappointing, afterall I did cook dinner and I didn't snack. Oh well. Perhaps tomorrow I will have some movement.

I fancy making a rhubarb crumble, as there is plenty of it growing in the garden. With lashings of custard. Mmmmm ...... yes, I think so.



Apart from that I have no food plans .... I rather fancy chicken & prawn fajitas, so there ya go, a forming of a plan.

But, for now, I shall drink my coffee, uninterrupted, read a little of my book ... and generally do NOTHING !

(Can you tell, I rarely stop, so it is a little weird for me to do this).

Is it the weekend yet ?

Taking an exceptionally late lunch today, grumpiness is abating :)

Although, I do have the feeling that Winter is starting to come in, what do you mean we haven't had Autumn yet, ok, ok .... so I may be a little previous.

But, today there is a definite chill in the air.

I've resorted to digging out socks and a cardigan, and shutting the window ...

This weekend I think it is time to clear down Summer in the garden, and prepare it for Autumn / Winter ... the time I don't like to venture out of the houses aka October to March !

I harvested all the tomatoes from the greenhouse the other day, what a sad crop they were this year. I started out with such hope for them in March / April time, but they really didn't turn out to be as happy as I had hoped.

On the other hand, my cukes were an abounding success, so we will do those again next year !

My hanging baskets are all but over, so it is time to tear those down, and if I can summon the energy, I may buy some pansies (or whatever it is you buy) for Winter baskets, for a bit of colour.

I also, need to buy some bulbs to plant for the Spring, that is, if I'm not too late already. I can never remember when it is you need to plant bulbs.

I can feel myself mentally wanting to hibernate. This in itself, is not a good thing. This is a thing of depression and sadness. This is something I am at least recognising earlier than normal, and to this end, is something I need to cope with, something I need to put strategies in to place to deal with it.

This needs planning, action and step-by-step .... not the feeling I have currently, which is that it is all too much, requires too much energy, and that bluntly I can't do it, not any of it, nothing at all.

Sorting the garden out, for example, seems to be an overwhelming prospect, whereas in reality, probably won't take that long.

So, I have firmly informed my nearest and dearest that this weekend, WE must sort the garden out. Not me, but WE.

I have done this is in a non-negotiation fashion. As I know that if I have to do it by myself, it will not get done. If I can get the support from those around me, it will get done.

Life is only as hard, as I make it.

Sometimes my need for perfection, makes it too hard. I'm an all or nothing kinda gal.

And when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I tend to be a "nothing" kinda gal. Which unfortunately then impacts on the rest of the household.

It's not that my family won't / don't support me, it's just that without being given the steer, they don't realise that support is required. Mainly because it is normally too late as I don't recognise that it is needed either.

But, I can see it, in the state of my desk, it is overflowing with paperwork, and I'm struggling to care. This is from someone who is fanatically neat and files everything.

I don't know where to start. I don't want to start. I just want it done. But the paperwork is all mine. In some ways it is what is contained within the paperwork, that I am burying my head about.

But, burying my head is not going to alleviate the situation. Just getting on with it, might.

Perhaps a coffee first though ? And then I could check on the washing, or generally find another 1,000 things to procrastinate with.

And then there's the big bag of shoes I've been meaning to sort out for 3 months.

And so it goes on ....