Is it the weekend yet ?

Taking an exceptionally late lunch today, grumpiness is abating :)

Although, I do have the feeling that Winter is starting to come in, what do you mean we haven't had Autumn yet, ok, ok .... so I may be a little previous.

But, today there is a definite chill in the air.

I've resorted to digging out socks and a cardigan, and shutting the window ...

This weekend I think it is time to clear down Summer in the garden, and prepare it for Autumn / Winter ... the time I don't like to venture out of the houses aka October to March !

I harvested all the tomatoes from the greenhouse the other day, what a sad crop they were this year. I started out with such hope for them in March / April time, but they really didn't turn out to be as happy as I had hoped.

On the other hand, my cukes were an abounding success, so we will do those again next year !

My hanging baskets are all but over, so it is time to tear those down, and if I can summon the energy, I may buy some pansies (or whatever it is you buy) for Winter baskets, for a bit of colour.

I also, need to buy some bulbs to plant for the Spring, that is, if I'm not too late already. I can never remember when it is you need to plant bulbs.

I can feel myself mentally wanting to hibernate. This in itself, is not a good thing. This is a thing of depression and sadness. This is something I am at least recognising earlier than normal, and to this end, is something I need to cope with, something I need to put strategies in to place to deal with it.

This needs planning, action and step-by-step .... not the feeling I have currently, which is that it is all too much, requires too much energy, and that bluntly I can't do it, not any of it, nothing at all.

Sorting the garden out, for example, seems to be an overwhelming prospect, whereas in reality, probably won't take that long.

So, I have firmly informed my nearest and dearest that this weekend, WE must sort the garden out. Not me, but WE.

I have done this is in a non-negotiation fashion. As I know that if I have to do it by myself, it will not get done. If I can get the support from those around me, it will get done.

Life is only as hard, as I make it.

Sometimes my need for perfection, makes it too hard. I'm an all or nothing kinda gal.

And when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I tend to be a "nothing" kinda gal. Which unfortunately then impacts on the rest of the household.

It's not that my family won't / don't support me, it's just that without being given the steer, they don't realise that support is required. Mainly because it is normally too late as I don't recognise that it is needed either.

But, I can see it, in the state of my desk, it is overflowing with paperwork, and I'm struggling to care. This is from someone who is fanatically neat and files everything.

I don't know where to start. I don't want to start. I just want it done. But the paperwork is all mine. In some ways it is what is contained within the paperwork, that I am burying my head about.

But, burying my head is not going to alleviate the situation. Just getting on with it, might.

Perhaps a coffee first though ? And then I could check on the washing, or generally find another 1,000 things to procrastinate with.

And then there's the big bag of shoes I've been meaning to sort out for 3 months.

And so it goes on ....