Body Dysmorphia...

It's been a tough couple of weeks for family reasons, which I won't go into here, so apologies for my air silence.

However, in other news, I've been thinking about my ever increasing girth, and reality.

I do have body dysmorphia to a certain degree, which doesn't help ... I look in the body when I'm naked and I know I look pretty good, curvy good, but good, but internally, I  feel garbage (to use an American term). I went shopping this week for a Winter coat, they looked horrendous and made me look like a blimp.

I've also been avoiding exercising in public or actually, at all ... but this has to stop. I just need to get on with it. I am at the worst time of the year for me, it's dark in the morning, gloomy and cold during the day, and dark by 4pm ....

Which summarised means I have no mental energy and therefore no physical energy.

I was meant to have my GP's appointment this week, but due to family stuff, I will have to rearrange this. Which may mean another month of limbo, on the flipside, if my bloods had shown anything ominous ... they'd have been in touch by now.

I have been shopping today and bought a whole load of veggies and generally "clean food", to try and avoid the takeaways ... with a few "cheat" foods, again to avoid the takeaways.

Tonight's dinner was steak pie (cheat food) with new potatoes, sweetcorn and carrots .... happy with that.

Tomorrow's dinner will be something slow cooked with chicken, not quite figured it out yet!

Tuesday will be spaghetti bolognaise, which I will cook tomorrow night, carrots and onions already chopped :)

Wed -away from home and generally stressful, dinner somewhere.

Thursday - late home, continued stress - Chinese takeaway ... but hey, at least I'm planning it in.

Friday - Salmon en croute.

Saturday - out for the day, so will do something slow cooked once again .. something with beef I think.

Sunday - I want to ice the Christmas cake, DD wants us to make a cheesecake, generally in the kitchen so will work it out then ...

And so the life of a fairly typical 40yr old female goes on .... I won't mention my dissertation I still haven't started, the homework not yet done, the new boss, the uncertainty with work, the ongoing house renovation or just being a parent .... that's another day ;)

Night all x